


Tragedy tolls on the weakest link

by Webtrinsic



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Abusive Sonia Kaspbrak, Anxiety, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, First Kiss, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pennywise (IT) is His Own Warning, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is Whipped, Soft Richie Tozier, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Supernatural Influence, bad coping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21772558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Webtrinsic/pseuds/Webtrinsic
Summary: Recovery isn't an easy process, both in the mental and physical aspect. It's been a week and his arm is finally free, his friends although jumpy don't even bring up Pennywise anymore. Eddie doesn't understand it, the damn clown is all he thinks about. It's gotten to the point he almost wonders if what they all went through happened at all, The Neibolt house will hopefully enlighten him, if it doesn't kill him first.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 110





	Tragedy tolls on the weakest link

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ticomat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ticomat/gifts).



> I miss california my dudes
> 
> also im so mad the Eddie pop i keep ordering keeps getting cancelled, so ill probably have to order the thirty four dollar one :/
> 
> also i turned 18 on nov 22 so thats chill

Barely a week had passed since they banished IT for what Mike assured would be a long twenty seven years, it gave them little peace. At least it gave Eddie little peace, sure the others were still outwardly wary but were seemingly, yet slowly, getting better. Eddie wasn’t. 

His cast had come off his arm, but still ached, and in his dreams he walked among the corpses of his classmates and on some nights when his dreams were extremely horrifying, his friends would be lying with them. 

The hypochondriac felt the tendrils of worry overtake his brain yet again, leading him to rush down the stairs to check on his friends only for his mother to stop him before he could get to the phone.

“Eddie-bear, you know you shouldn’t be running in the house,” The chiding was enough to have Eddie shuttering, all the anger from before his confrontation with her last week had disappeared the second he’d come home covered in sludge.

She’d grabbed him by the back of the neck then, the action bringing too much back from his fight with Pennywise, making him pliant and afraid as she’d honest to god bathed him as if he were five years old again.

It could have been the humiliation or the fact that he’d nearly died but Eddie had lost all his fight and was crashing hard. He’d crashed so hard his mother had nearly taken him to the emergency room because his cries left him heaving.

He hated her so much but didn’t hesitate to jump into her arms, needing comfort even if it wasn’t from someone he wanted.

“Sorry, Mommy,” he apologized timidly, hands still shaking with the urge to grab the phone and call his friends. 

“Do you need a hug, Eddie-bear?” His mother asked seemingly pleased with his apology, after that night she’d picked up on his paranoia and need for comfort, her manipulating ways immediately using it to her advantage. 

Tears welled up in the teen’s eyes and he ran to her, mind hazy as she spoke up after a minute of silence, “It’s time for your pills, Eddie,” he took them without a fight, he didn’t think he could handle her threatening to let him go if he didn’t.

* * *

Eddie scrubbed insistently at the floor, hoping to appease his mother while she was out getting groceries. He’d have gone with her but he hadn’t left the house in what seemed like forever, and school was out until next month so he didn’t need to go anywhere either. 

He’d disinfected nearly the whole house, the activity keeping his mind from straying back to the bad thoughts that had him sucking down on his inhaler. Eddie’s nose scrunched beneath the cleaning mask on his face, still able to smell the strong chemicals inside that were killing the germs that may or may not be on his floor.

Mommy wouldn’t be home for another hour or so, leaving Eddie to ponder if he should call his friends. He still worried about them, wanted to check in, had nightmares about their passings, but the voice in his head, although unreasonable sounded knowledgeable enough for him to give in. 

_‘They’re disappointed in you, you’re only bringing them down. It’s safer at home, they probably have already forgotten about you. They have their own problems, stop being so selfish,’_

Complying was easy, it’s all he’s ever known, even if in his head he’d always tried to question it. His mother probably wondered what had finally taken hold of him to fully submit, and if she’d ever asked, which she wouldn’t, he wouldn’t know how to tell her it was because of the yellow eyes and red balloons that stalked him in his dreams.

The spec on the floor Eddie had been stuck with for at least fifteen minutes finally seemed to fade away making the boy smile in relief as he snapped his gloves off and set to work on putting his supplies away.

His journey in and out of the kitchen quickly brought his attention to the phone, he tried to tell himself it only caught his attention because the receiver needed to be wiped down, and not because he needed to hear his friends so his heart could stop the rapid beating that had his chest roaring in discomfort. 

Pulling out a wipe, Eddie moved to wipe it down hoping the mere act in itself would do something, only to startle horribly when it suddenly began to ring. It took seconds of Eddie waiting for his breath to return before he picked up the phone, holding it tentatively to his ear with two hands in fear he’d drop it.

“Hello?” His voice echoed against the plastic casing, when it came back to him he almost didn’t recognize himself. 

“Eds?” Richie’s voice came through clearly, and Eddie knew why tears came to his eyes at his best friend’s voice. In any other circumstances he’d have retorted immediately for the use of that nickname but he could only let out a sob.

“Hey it’s okay Eddie, we’re all at the door, can you come out?” Eddie couldn’t give a verbal answer as he dropped the receiver and ran towards the front door, ripping the mask off his face and trying to open it without turning the lock causing the door to shake on its hinges before his brain caught up with him.

Unlocking the door, Eddie flung it open and jumped towards the closest being which happened to be Bill who caught him easily, hugging tightly as Eddie sobbed into his collarbone. He’d missed them so much.

A warm reassuring presence was then pushed against his back, and his sides grew warm, the losers crowding in close and hugging their smallest member with so much love Eddie felt his knees going weak.

“We missed you,” Beverly cooed, the losers humming in agreement, Eddie melting at the vibrations.

“I missed you guys too,” He whimpered, letting go of Bill in favor of turning around and burying himself in Richie’s chest. The taller boy reciprocated immediately, fingers tangling into the smaller boy’s nape and securing him to his chest.

“There’s my Eddie Spaghetti,” the words were teasing but his tone was sincere, relieved almost. The others watched with bated breath for Eddie to snap at him for the name and grew even more worried when he didn’t.

“Was Ms. K keeping you prisoner, Cinderella? You smell like cleaning supplies, more so than usual,” Richie joked without heat, making the mistake of mentioning Sonia which earned him looks from the other losers and a sob from Eddie.

Eddie nodded nonetheless, hiding in Richie’s broad chest. His shoulders only seemed to get wider and wider, something that would have Eddie blushing if he wasn’t so distraught. 

_‘What if he was bothering them? What if Mommy comes home and sees him in Richie’s arms? What if she realizes he loves him?’_

Richie’s grip grew tighter, a soft apology falling from his lips that Eddie knew to be sincere, so he stopped his cries and gave the best smile he could. 

“It’s okay,” Eddie assured, but they all knew he was lying even before he did. Lifting a hand, Richie gingerly used his fingers to brush aside Eddie’s bangs, his hand gently cupping Eddie’s cheek, completely forgetting their friends were surrounding them.

“We missed you at the last sleepover,” Ben explained, and Eddie didn’t dare turn to face him, he couldn’t look away from Richie.

“We wanted to ask if you could come tonight?” Mike explained, causing Eddie’s smile to falter and Richie’s brows to scrunch together in concern.

“I don’t think she’ll let me go,” Eddie almost didn’t want to say it, feeling oddly ashamed. 

“Y-you can ask,” Bill tried, causing Eddie to tense in Richie’s hold. Richie gently rubbed his thumb along Eddie’s cheek, assuring the boy softly.

“I can wait up in your room while you ask, and if she says no I’ll just sleep here with you,” 

“Okay,”

* * *

To Eddie’s surprise, Sonia Kaspbrak agreed to let him sleepover at Bill’s. What he didn’t know was she only allowed it because she wanted to further coerce him into a sense of trust.

* * *

Richie didn’t let Eddie stray too far away from his side, it’s not like Eddie tried to go anywhere anyway. Eddie practically buried himself in Richie’s side, looking hesitant to relax as they converged in Bill’s living room. 

As happy as Eddie was too see his friends again, when night came he quickly began to regret coming. Not everyone was going to bed quite yet, but Stan had drifted off on his place on the couch, the angle of his head unnatural and surely going to leave a crick.

Eddie had half a mind to go over and move him, the stillness of Stan’s gentle breaths the only thing keeping him still. The fear of those breaths ceasing the second he looked away overwhelming.

It didn’t take long for Richie to notice his stupor, eyes wide beneath his glasses following his gaze only to let out a snort.

“That doesn’t look very comfortable, Stan the man’s gonna feel that in the morning,” The taller boy sent the hypochondriac a nudge, his smile faltering when Eddie didn’t acknowledge him at all.

Sensing Eddie’s discomfort, Richie decided to fix the problem by approaching his sleeping friend. Stan shifted easily in his sleep as Richie maneuvered him so he was laying down, earning a few mumbled groans in protest until a relieved sigh met the air when Stan’s neck was no longer crooked. 

As it turns out, Eddie wasn’t the only one staring at the sleeping Staniel. Bill seemed transfixed in the same way he often was when he looked at Eddie or how Ben looked at Bev. Doing the boy a favor, Richie pillowed Stan’s head in Bill’s laps causing Denbroughs cheeks to flush. 

“Can’t ever say I didn’t do you any favors Billiam,” Richie had expected Eddie to laugh but earned nothing of the sort, Eddie’s attention had already turned to the next sleeping loser, Ben.

He’d been laying on the ground, showing off on his most recent blueprints when he’d fallen asleep, face smushed to the page, motionless. 

“Eds,” Richie murmured, leading the smaller boy back into his side, tucking the hypochondriacs head into his chest. The teen swore his heart skipped a beat when small gentle arms came back around his waist.

Eddie’s answering hum a vibration against his skin, making him weak in the knees.

“What’s wrong bubba?” He cooed softly into the boy’s ear, running his hands in circles along the expanse of the smaller boy’s back. Peppering kisses across the crown of his head and longer declarations of love against his temples.

Something had to be wrong if he was this strung up and wasn’t protesting to the nicknames he claimed to detest. Eddie shook his head, not wanting to admit it, admitting made him weak, made it all real.

Richie although a little put out Eddie wouldn’t tell him what was wrong didn’t push. If Eddie wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready. The night went on slowly from then on, the remaining losers all getting ready for bed, a sleepily blushing Stan and bashful Ben following Bill and the others up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Bill and Stan crowded onto Bill’s bed, Beverly slept in Georgie’s old one so she didn’t have to sleep on the floor. Ben snored softly beside her on the hardwood, likely to be stepped on if she woke in the middle of the night to use the restroom.

Eddie tucked himself against the wall, Mike sprawled out in the middle of the floor, while Richie settled as closely to Eddie as he could without breathing down the other boy’s neck.

He’d cuddled with the smaller boy most of the day, while Eddie hadn’t objected, even initiated a lot of the contact. Richie still had yet to confess his feelings for the smaller boy, so spooning him in front of his friends was the last thing he’d do.

Richie dwelled on the thought longer than he’d like to admit, but no one was awake to judge him, thankfully sleep took him then too. 

* * *

Timber eyes opened in the darkness of the night, the blank wall a foot from his face still somehow a grim reminder of the corpses in his dreams. All stark white and lifeless. Some morbid part of his brain questioned if it’d be better if the chipped paint started to bleed. 

Thankfully the walls didn’t start to bleed as he stared as if willing it to happen just so he could justify he wasn’t going crazy. The idea of walls bleeding seemed so cheesy now that he thought about it, like something that would come out of one of Bill’s short stories.

They weren’t all bad or cheesy though, in fact if it wasn’t for Pennywise Eddie would have been content to be spooked by Bill’s stories for the rest of his life. There was something beautiful about Bill’s horror as well. 

Gothic at times, but not filthy such as the rotting illusions of lepers and cackling laughs that’d burned him to the very core. In twenty seven years, when that clown returned, Eddie wondered if-and only if it killed him. Would it be foul and filled with screams, or would it be something tragically beautiful?

If he died, maybe it really would be one of Bill’s endings; They always sucked.

There was one he’d written, Eddie couldn’t quite remember the name and Bill had been awful fidgety when he’d tried to ask about it’s inspiration, that’d garnered his attention enough to the point he’d kept the words awfully close to his heart. Even if it came off as awfully somber in the end.

**_“Many a night blood rough and coarse congealed among thin skin adding layers and layers of sins and follies to be stained upon the earth with every brush and step of tepid being. Suppressed by richest beating beneath the crypt, ensnared in thickets sharp and gnarled. Pointed sparrows pecking crackling depths worn with a many great sleepless nights lacking a cumbersome yet vital piece of life. Ever so potent in romance and fiction, while the organ may beat and hum it’s conquest in love is forever undone with its empty vessels lacking a rich blood. All used up and falling from the marrow. A heart may beat, and sins can be forgiven, while a life written in blood can never be rewritten.”_ **

Looking over his shoulder, Eddie’s eyes managed to adjust to the darkness, the closest and clearest thing in his view being Richie’s sleeping face. Glasses folded beside his head, thankfully not crushed or cracked. 

Quietly Eddie moved the other boy’s glasses a little further away so no harm came to them for the rest of the night before a bout of temptation overwhelmed him. Both impulses drastic and very much different from one another, it didn’t make him any less helpless to comply.

Brushing a kiss to his crush's cheek, Eddie blushed despite the churning and crippling fear settled in his gut for what he was going to do next. Rising to his feet, Eddie tiptoed around the sprawled bodies of his friends and out of the bedroom door, shutting it until it gave the slightest click before he went down the stairs, making sure to avoid the third step down that never failed to creak.

Eddie laced his shoes before walking out into the dead of night. The cool air whipping at his skin, leaving him to shiver as he pressed on. An odd sense of calm peeking into his bones, something he’d never experienced in the dark, or after Pennywise. 

It was a calmness that felt so foregin it seemed to introduce itself by clearing his head. A listless urge overwhelming him, whispered words in his ears, self deprecating questions held tight, no longer being locked within but asked to the fullest extent.

His tears leaked down his cheeks, their path getting sidetracked every now and again by the wind. Eddie didn’t feel sad, nor did he feel afraid as he came face to face with the home that’d broken under his feet and housed the eater of worlds. 

Taking the knob in his hand, Eddie opened up the door, the creak of it adding to his tremors. If Eddie was all there, he’d have realized his body temperature had dropped significantly, his skin pale and lips blue.

The door seemed to shut behind him on its own. The thud causing his eyes to close, and simply breathe, Richie’s warnings of eating the grime absent from his mind as he took in every little creak and patter, every drip of water slipping from the old planks of wood.

His feet carried him throughout the house, not even needing to open his eyes as he entered the kitchen where he nearly fell over all the extra wood, courtesy of his earlier fall.

In the least bit of self preservation, his large doe eyes opened once again, head turning to the fridge that’d harbored that damn clown who held his very face in it’s twisted gnarled claws that’d painfully poked into his cheeks.

In a moment of bravery, Eddie’s small hands wrapped around the handle, pulling it open with a jerking pop only to be met with dirt and cobwebs. It was a disappointing sight, maybe if he saw that clown again, he’d know what he’d experienced had been real. As the time went by the other losers had stopped even talking about that damn clown, it’s all that he thought about.

“Just take me, let this end,” tumbled from his lips in a soft plea, the door to the basement gleaming in his peripheral. The dripping noise that had previously settled into the background now pounded heavily in his ears.

The sound instructing his feet to follow, down the stairs and to the well. It’d be quite the fall, he’d known that when Bowers had tumbled down. Of course Henry had survived, but he wasn’t as built or as resilient. The fall would likely kill him, or at least injure him enough to be fatal even if it took a few minutes.

His toes pushed further over the edge, wondering, imploring lately as he’s seen all his friends smiling and laughing, would it make any difference if he was there or not? Would they be laughing harder, or would they be sad? They were his friends, he didn’t question that, but at the end of the day, he was still just him.

“Closer,” the winds whispered in his ear.

‘I’m coming,’ Eddie’s heart sang, one foot slipping over the edge before a pair of arms were encircling his waist. Pulling him away from teetering into the abyss, his name hissed loudly into his ear as he fell back into a warm lap.

“Eddie, what the hell are you doing?” Richie sounded furious, voice a sharp growling shout. Arms letting go only for a second to wrap not only around the smaller boy’s waist but his arms too, restraining him.

“I…” Eddie could only stammer in response, not knowing entirely what he’d been doing himself. 

“Eddie!” A clamour of voices shouted from throughout the decrepit house, footsteps blundering down the stairs until his friends were all in his sight, looking unkept with bedhead and wide eyes.

“Why are you holding him like that?” Stan questioned, making the losers do a double take at the pair on the floor. Eddie pale with his fingers and lips going blue, tear tracks across his face while Richie held him close, red and panting with adrenaline, his limbs shaking, glasses askew.

“Oh Eddie baby,” Beverly cooed at the sight of him, ripping off her sweater to wrap around him but Richie refused to let go. Without a word, Richie lifted the smaller boy up into his arms and walked back up the stairs with the losers in tow.

“Richie, he needs to get warm,”

“R-Richie my h-house is-is the other-way!”

“Richie stop, where are you going?”

“Richie tell us what’s wrong,”

“You’re bringing Eddie home?” 

Richie groaned at the mere suggestion, no he was not bringing Eddie back to Sonia, instead he began making his way down the block to his own home. Of course empty, with a stocked fireplace he could coddle the smaller boy in front of.

Richie would later apologize to his friends for slamming the door in their faces, and locking them out as he set Eddie on the couch and got to work on the fire before grabbing a couple of blankets.

Only then as Eddie’s numb hands reached for a blanket did Richie notice the grime on his normally soft palms. Richie imagined this is what a mom felt like as he got out the baby wipes and began to rub the dirt away.

“Explain,” The word was clipped, as much as his instincts were telling him to comfort his beloved, the anger and fear in him couldn’t lay dormant. It refused too.

“I wanted the dreams to stop, I wanted to be okay but ‘Chee I don’t think I ever will,” 

“So you went there to end it?” Richie bit, looking betrayed.

“Not at first, I just needed to see it. Make it real because what we went through Richie is driving me insane. You all seem to be okay, but I can’t close my eyes without imagining you all-” 

“We all what?” Richie whispered, crowding closer to his Eds, his thumb running over his lips that were slowly but surely going from blue to white.

“Please don’t make me say it, It’ll be real then,” Eddie leaned heavily into the hand now cupping his cheek. 

“No, no it won’t sweetheart. It won’t, I won’t let it,” 

“It killed you, and if it didn’t. If it really didn’t kill you. Then it must have been me-I-it would have been so much better if it did. You guys could be happy then,” Richie’s heart broke at every word, so much so he didn’t want to hear anymore of it, he was torn Eddie even thought such things.

Such a pretty boy didn’t deserve to worry at all. Richie leaned forward then, pressing a long drawn out kiss to the boy’s forehead before speaking.

“We survived Eds, you, me, Stan, Bev, Ben, Mike and Bill. We won. You wanna know why we won, why I fought so hard? Because of you, you Eddie. I fought for you, I would have been devastated if I lost you. So when I tell you, _when I tell you_ I’d rather be dead than live on this godforsaken earth without you. I mean it. I love you Eddie, and if you decide to...then I’ll go with you,”

“No!” Eddie nearly shouted, jumping into the other boy’s arms. The thought of Richie throwing his life away for him too much for him to handle as he began to plead into the other boy’s throat.

“You can’t, Richie please,”

“Hush bubba,” The taller teen soothed, “I won’t, so long as you don’t either,”

“Did-did you mean what you said, that you love me?” Eddie then whispered, the gravity between them seemingly pulling them closer until their lips were an inch apart.

Richie answered him with a kiss, a soft smile on his face when they pulled apart, Eddie’s lips were the same beautiful pink they normally were, although this time they were tinged with a red blush that drove the taller teen up the walls.

“I love you too ‘Chee,”

“I know things look bad now Eds, but I promise. The minute we’re old enough, I’ll take you away from this. Your mom, this town, all of it,”

“I know you will,”

**Author's Note:**

> snapchat: allisonw1122  
> instagram: webtrinsic  
> twitter: webtrinsic1122  
> tumblr webtrinsic1122


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